Love, Relationships, Limerence & Affair Recovery

PTSD after an affair

April 11, 2021 David
Love, Relationships, Limerence & Affair Recovery
PTSD after an affair
Chapters
Love, Relationships, Limerence & Affair Recovery
PTSD after an affair
Apr 11, 2021
David

Affair recovery forms a large part of our work at LoveRelations. About half the couples we work with are seeking help after the disclosure or discovery of some sort of infidelity. There is always a lot of pain and anger from both parties, when an infidelity happens. Many partners believe their relationship will never recover.

At LoveRelations we do believe that a relationship can recover after an affair and, in many cases, emerge as a stronger and more truthful one. There is a lot of hard work by both partners that needs to be done if healing is to happen. Trust is not re-built over night.

However, it seems that some partners experience greater difficulty in this process than others. I have been struck by two often co-occuring states of being in my work with couples after an affair. The first is the lack of comprehension by the betrayer of the true effect of what he or she has done. Secondly, and this tragically seems to go hand in hand with the non-comprehending partner’s state, is a highly traumatised response to the discovery of an infidelity.

The partner who has been betrayed is emotionally tortured and humiliated when knowledge of the infidelity emerges. They are clearly in trauma and experience the same array of symptoms that professionals describe as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Similar to any others who have suffered threats to their emotional well-being and security, they are disoriented and confused by what has happened.


Show Notes

Affair recovery forms a large part of our work at LoveRelations. About half the couples we work with are seeking help after the disclosure or discovery of some sort of infidelity. There is always a lot of pain and anger from both parties, when an infidelity happens. Many partners believe their relationship will never recover.

At LoveRelations we do believe that a relationship can recover after an affair and, in many cases, emerge as a stronger and more truthful one. There is a lot of hard work by both partners that needs to be done if healing is to happen. Trust is not re-built over night.

However, it seems that some partners experience greater difficulty in this process than others. I have been struck by two often co-occuring states of being in my work with couples after an affair. The first is the lack of comprehension by the betrayer of the true effect of what he or she has done. Secondly, and this tragically seems to go hand in hand with the non-comprehending partner’s state, is a highly traumatised response to the discovery of an infidelity.

The partner who has been betrayed is emotionally tortured and humiliated when knowledge of the infidelity emerges. They are clearly in trauma and experience the same array of symptoms that professionals describe as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Similar to any others who have suffered threats to their emotional well-being and security, they are disoriented and confused by what has happened.